5.18.2010

No More No More Villains

It has been far too long since I last updated this blog. As you all may have guessed, there really has been no progress on the movie. What started out as a collection of ideas, dreams and hopes, has really become just that. I realize now that the only time I can really work on the movie is when I’m back at home for summer break. I cannot begin to claim that school work is the real factor for the lack of progress; the fault entirely resides in me. Whether it is being lazy, and making up excuses for why I am not able to get any scenes shot, I accept full responsibility for what appears to be a now indefinitely halted production.

As much as I would like to finish just one episode, I have hit a wall in my life. The suffocating environment I currently live in has pushed me into a rut. I realize that the only time I get filming done is when my source of inspiration and positive encouragement is by my side. It is for this reason that almost all of the progress I have ever made for this film only occurred during the summer

For the longest time I have always thought this film would be my crowning achievement. I wanted to show the world just how much I have learned throughout the years and to make something I can be proud of. When I look back at films I’ve made in the past, I see so many flaws and things I could have improved. But I don’t forget about the great memories I have shared with others during the process. However, I was always embarrassed to share my previous works as I felt I have technically improved so much over the years. I wanted to let them know I could achieve so much more. The saddest part of all this is I never had anything to show for it, just empty words.

I initially had the mindset that this would be my most personal film—that I was making this to test my limits and to see how well I could translate my ideas into a real and tangible movie. But now I have come to realize that this film wasn’t about me. As insane and eccentric the story was, the plot and meaning was never the point of this project—likewise with all the special effects shots that were inserted just so I could show off what I could do in After Effects. What started out as a pet project spiraled into something much more—a gift.

This film was supposed to be a gift for my greatest friend. She gave me all the positive encouragement I needed to keep moving forward. She always stood by my side and fully supported me through all the times where I thought I could not do my film justice. All this time, I was too scared to film anything because I was too caught up in trying to make everything perfect. I realize now that I wasn’t trying to impress myself, but I was trying to impress her. The ironic part of all this is that I know she would have been proud of anything I made regardless.

I still struggle with the fact that I may never have the chance to work with her again. The future of this production is uncertain. I may eventually release the incomplete scenes that have already been shot and edited. I still have hope for this project though. One day my pillar of support may return so I can finish what I started; and so I can show her my appreciation for everything she has done for me. I would like to thank everyone who has supported me and maintained interest in this production. But for now, No More Villains is no more.